After the bonfire

River
Eventually. People leave. Food has been consumed and people start to filter out and she, as mistress and keeper of the campfire, stays behind. She has a responsibility to not burn the city down and, if she was going to be known as an arsonist, she was going to burn down something cool instead of a city park.

River realized while she was staring at the camp fire rebuttoning her mitten-glove-hybrid-things that she doesn't actually remember maliciously ever having set things on fire. Not a single incarnation can she place where she's covered her tracks by setting something ablaze. It actually has to be an absurdly hot fire to render remains into ashes; most people don't think about it. Most people think fire just covers your tracks but, realistically, it's more complicated than that. Luckily, she isn't thinking about needing to cover any tracks.

"... I forgot to record forensic files," she announces to no one in particular. To the best of her knowledge people have left. She might feel bad about it later, but she presumed she lost track of Samir at some point until her hazy brain and relaxed state falls on the bong and-

"Oh, no," quiet, like it's a little travesty because there's a bong and no Samir. She's going for her phone to text him, and she does-

you left your bong. :( 

Completely unaware that Samir is, in fact, still somewhere around here and she's just misplaced him.

Samir
If he were the sort of person to go to parties this sort of thing would probably happen all the time. Samir is easy to misplace. Like a scarf or a lighter or one's sense of propriety.

It takes a few seconds for her text message to bounce off the nearest tower and find Samir's cellphone. It's in his pocket. He had gone off to escort Grace and Ihsan back to where they'd parked their cars. With all the magick and all the wards up around the place River was safe for the several minutes the trip took which was long enough for her to forget that he had said that he was coming back.

His phone pings and River hears the ping before he can even pull it out of his pocket to read the message. That would be Sam returning from his escort mission. He steps over whatever she was using as a seat and parks himself down next to her.

"Sad-face," he says.

River
The blanket has since left their possession and, as such, River had determined that she needed to use the park bench for its intended purpose. The bench was cold but relatively snow-free thanks to people's consistent use of it, and for that she was thankful because she was already experiencing the vague sensation of not being able to feel her butt thanks to the weather.

Sad face, he says. She turns her attention to him, adopts the briefest of sad puppy expressions. Traces out where a single tear would fall with her mittened hand. River basically achieves a state of mildly dorky for a minute. She's eaten half her bodyweight in toasted marshmallows, but she's thin so that actually wasn't that many marshmallows.

"When you first came I was actually almost disappointed that it wasn't a clarinet," she tells him, like this is a big confession to make.

Samir
"Seriously?"

As if she's never met him before. But then the thought occurs to him that she has met him before and maybe that's the sort of vibe he puts out. That he would bring a woodwind instrument to a bonfire. Stranger things have happened.

"I mean, if you'd rather have a clarinet I can probably make it into a clarinet, but it'll smell like resin for the rest of its life."

He's not joking. If she really wants a clarinet she's talking to a reality hacker.

"Hey, uh, did you want to go to that thing tonight? The show?"

River
He explains that he could, in fact, make it into a clarinet and it is met with emphatic noooooo headshaking.

"Maybe if it were a clarinet and a bong, because clarinets are terrible by themselves. You made a good call," because it would be a terrible call, what the fuck does one do with a clarinet ever, aside from anxiously await the day that your band director says you can finally play an instrument that is cooler than the clarinet?

It seems to dawn on her, though, that she responded to the middle of what he was saying. She takes a minute and thinks about it before shrugging.

"Sera seemed really distant, I think I got invited so she didn't seem rude. Maybe we can go say hi at the after party? I don't think I can handle a whole set of what they played."

Samir
"Yeah..."

Sad songs will have an impact on anyone but the obviousness of its impact on River was not lost on everyone present. She has had a year. Her year has been documented on Ginger. Her year would have wrecked plenty of other people but she is making an attempt to be present and to enjoy her time.

"I'm not a big fan of parties. Maybe if I had a clarinet bong I'd enjoy them more."

River
"How am I gonna get you to dance with me if you're not a fan of parties?" like this was a big question.

Samir
"I mean... do we live in a world where people only dance at parties?"

River
She gives him a sideward glance, like she's thinking about what he'd said. Putting together a list of pros and cons and weighs that list of pros and cons before she ever gets around to offering it up for public consumption. That, or she forgot what she was doing because River goes into her pocket for her phone. Swipes through whatever pattern she uses to get into her phone and pulls up Pandora-

"... pick a station?"

Samir
"An entire station?"

Must be Grace didn't tell River about the time they played laser tag. They had made reference to it the night they all met up at the bar but Sam had been paying more attention to his phone than the conversation and had barely lifted his head enough to insult the other Virtual Adept.

A lot has changed since then but Sam's change in music is not one of them.

"See if they have Nihilist on there. They're a Swedish death metal band."

And they say romance is dead.

River
"Swedish death metal?" she says incredulously, like she isn't entirely certain what is going to happen when she searches for this.

There is searching, a little bit of idle humming while whatever River normally listens to is playing- which is currently consisting of a Beyonce remix because much of her musical research consists of trying to figure out how she can get her clothes off in a thematically appropriate fashion to this song.

She makes a little triumphant noise when she finds it, creates station and-

"... Swedish death metal?"

Samir
"In hindsight, I should've paid more attention to what the other kids were listening to when I was... you know... a kid."

Death metal deals with dark violent bloody themes why would you not want to listen to that when you're sitting next to a girl with whom you're involved in a sexual relationship.

"Here, can I see that?"

Should River give up her phone Samir kills the death metal and backtracks. Glances up at the stars as if he's accessing his repertoire of movie soundtracks.

Which means Marvin Gaye graces her phone with his voice a moment later. He flicks his eyebrows as if he wasn't expecting that but can live with it anyway. Hands her back the phone and offers her his now-empty hand as if inviting her to dance. He has no idea what he's doing.

River
"Eh-" she gives a dismissive wave at the concept of what other kids were listening to as kids because... eh, why not? She's trying to piece through what the lead singer is actually saying but it's going through so many translation filters for River that it may as well be running through babelfish.com for her.

She does hand the phone over, though. While he's looking through tracks she continues on in conversation.

"Other kids are boring. I listened to classical because it was the only station we could routinely find while we're driving," which was about the time that Marvin Gaye comes through. Her brows raise but she smiles. She gets her phone back and it gets laid on the bench.

She takes his hand and it doesn't seem to matter that he has no idea what he's doing because she does.

"I do this for a living," she tells him. Doesn't get more specific.

Samir
"Okay."

That's all he has to say about that. It's easier to be intimate with another person when all of the lights are off and she isn't interested in talking because she's spent. All he knows about dancing with a woman comes from the movies. He's supposed to take one of her hands in his and put his hand at the small of her back. It's freezing. They're both wearing fingerless gloves with a mitten option.

One could tango to 'I Heard It Through the Grapevine' if one knew how to tango.

He's just going to let her lead. She's stoned and he's a gentleman.

River
[I totally know how to lead!]

Dice: 7 d10 TN5 (3, 3, 4, 6, 6, 7, 7) ( success x 4 ) [Doubling Tens]

River
It's all predictable patterns, then variations on the pattern. That's one of the things that she likes about ballroom. You know what you're doing, you have rules and parameters that you can act within those parameters. Then, when you're comfortable, when you've established those rules, you can break them and work through the variations.

There are rules she breaks immediately, like the fact that she actually does take the lead instead of just pulling the poor young man along with her. Gives physical cues of where she wants him to go and how she wants things to move and, for her part, does a very good job of not leaving him out in the middle of nowhere. There are things one doesn't do to their dance partner.

She smiles at him like she's leading an expedition and this cavalier creature he is dancing with has done this dozens of times. What River does not do, however, is warn him when she's going to dip him, presumes he knows it's coming because she gave the physical cues that something was going to happen but? She isn't thinking clearly.

Samir
[WHOA]

Dice: 2 d10 TN6 (1, 5) ( botch x 1 )

Samir
The way she moves him through the dance one couldn't tell that River was pretty thoroughly baked. It's only as potent as it is because that's how Sam buys it. He only has an apprentice's understanding of the sphere governing the spirit world. Not until he furthers his studies will he be able to awaken the weed he brings to social gatherings and get everyone in the room so goddamn stoned they'll be able to see through time.

One wouldn't think from looking at him that he's a drug dealer. One wouldn't think from looking at her that she's a stripper. Neither of them would judge the other for the revelation and neither has volunteered the information yet.

She isn't thinking clearly.

She dips him and it catches him off-guard. Not only does it catch him off-guard but he startles with it. Then gravity decides it wants to have a turn. Sam can't untangle himself from her fast enough to keep her from sprawling on top of him when he crashes to the ground.

The impact knocks his teeth together and the ground is cold under him but it's kind of funny. Would have been funnier if Sam knew how to fall. Sam does not know how to fall. He didn't play sports and he avoids physical contact.

After the initial stun of it wears off he reaches up to touch her face with his left hand. Cuts her a smile to let her know it's alright.

"Look, I know they say that dancing is supposed to be the vertical expression of horizontal... desire, but..."

River
River doesn't fall in a graceful fashion. She's capable of it, because somewhere along the lines it became important that River knew how to tumble should the ground decide it doesn't want to be her friend anymore. It does not stop her from making a sound that is only best described as a distress call.

So, there she is, on top of a guy she likes looking mildly horrified by the prospect that she might have chipped one of his teeth and now he's not going to talk to her anymore except to send her a dental bill except Samir is a nice guy and he wouldn't send her the bill even if she offered to pay for it and-and-and-

Then his hand is on her face and she looks immediately relieved. Leans in to the gesture and tries to be subtle with the fact that she's trying to be sure his pupils are the same size. (Forensic files is so freaking useful).

"I have a thing for giving attractive men concussions," which was about when she leaned in to kiss him. Brief, yes, but why not?

Samir
Before he can make with a quick quip her lips are against his. It's twenty degrees colder today than it was the day they got stoned and had sex on the banks of Cherry Creek earlier this month. The point of their presence is to ensure the fire dies a good and proper death. That it doesn't take anything else with it.

He tightens his fingers in her hair and lifts up into the kiss. Brief but welcomed. When they pull back he breathes her in off his lips and tunes into the song still playing on the bench and tightens his arm around her waist.

"You wanna get out of here?"

He does know Forces. That fire could be dead in about five seconds if she wants it that way.

River
"Let's bail, I can't feel my butt."

Samir
[forces 2: i just want to test his new dice pool and kill this fire. -1 diff bc quint.]

Dice: 3 d10 TN4 (2, 4, 6) ( success x 3 ) [WP]

Samir
[stamina for the lulz]

Dice: 4 d10 TN6 (5, 6, 8, 10) ( success x 3 )

Samir
[i think i need to reroll that 10]

Dice: 1 d10 TN6 (8) ( success x 1 )

River
[jesus, dude. Stamina?]

Dice: 2 d10 TN6 (7, 10) ( success x 2 )

Samir
Well beyond dark by the time they quit the place. Ashes not even smoldering after Sam did what he did. She met him when he was still an initiate in the art of space and forces and he has been through a trial in the scant time since they last met but then it seems as if he and she and everyone they know has been through a trial.

He doesn't know about her mentor or his presence in the city. He doesn't know that she was the one who found her friend's body. Twice. A lot he doesn't know about her or about anyone else but he can sense it just as well as he can sense it in anyone else.

Grace and Kiara will tell him their troubles in general and in the future. Tonight River and Samir are two kids alone together. He takes a deep breath before he puts his arm around her waist to walk her back to her car.

---

Considering he hates germs and physical contact and emotional attachment Sam lasts a good long time when he takes River to bed. Tonight is no different. He senses some need in her. Maybe it's one they ought to have talked their way through but that's not the course their relationship took.

She comes first. That is how he operates. Last time he came over he didn't even take his pants off. She didn't care. Tonight will pass the same way unless she drags him up and wrestles off his jeans. They're both freezing from the outside world but they warm each other quick beneath the sheets.

All things pass and this swell does as well. River is about ready to pass out long before Sam would concede defeat and it isn't defeat so much as a cease fire. He's breathing steady and hard but not fast.

"Can I ask you something?" He rolls onto his back and makes a place for her inside his arm. "Why did you..." He rummages around in his discarded pants for his cigarettes. Offers her one. "Why did you leave California?"

River
They could have talked through a number of things, but did not. She seemed fine with this. In truth, she was completely fine with this, being as likable as she is the young woman had secrets to keep and there was some form of catharsis to be had in physical relations with another person. Even at her best, she can't keep up with him. It's part of the appeal, truth be told.

When all things pass she's struggling for air and attempting to recenter herself and he asks if he can ask her something. She looks up and him and nods before she is curling into his space. Knows where she fits on another person's anatomy and is content to be there. She didn't realize how much she liked this, how much she liked being able to curl up with another person and listen to them breathing- hard but steady.

Then, Samir asks her why she left California. She takes a cigarette in hand and almost drops it. Reaffirms her grip as something awkward.

"How much do you know about my tradition?"

Samir
In his rummaging he finds an ashtray sat atop a copy of the Holy Bible in the bedside table. When he finally settles back down he rests the ashtray on his abdomen. Lights her cigarette before he lights his own. Settles back to hold her and listen to her talk.

"Not much. One of my old cabalmates was almost a Euthanatos but she--" He does not say Pulled her head out of her ass. "--didn't pass their initiation."

River
Oddly enough, his response seems to make her seem... relieved. Relieved isn't quite the right word and she knows it. It seems to be the closest approximation and she thinks about it. Looks at Samir and she doesn't shy away from looking at him. Doesn't flinch, doesn't back down, just takes a second to  think about what she's going to say and how she's going to say it.

Decides to take the direct approach.

"The guy that came to town to deal with the Nephandus used to be Farrah and I's mentor," she starts, "and... Mike was a really good mentor. It... the mentor student relationship is incredibly important to Euthanatoi, you swear an oath."

River stops, realizing that she's getting off topic and her moment of rambling isn't actually getting her closer to the point. It's strange, she takes a second and takes a long drag off of her cigarette. At one point she stops looking at Samir, not because she can't stand looking at him or because she's too ashamed or if it's any number of things, but rather... because she's thinking. Because she's miles away dredging up the pieces and the elements of a story and has come across the quandary of explaining herself to someone who doesn't know the full details.

And perhaps she's thinking better of it, thinking that maybe she needs to turn around and backtrack and say that she doesn't want to talk about it because-

"Michael MacCarrick and Farrah Esmail were my world, it felt like they were there for everything and... then bodies start popping up and... Mike snapped one day and it-it wasn't like he was himself and I just wrote it off like it was nothing, or like it was just the nature of what we do and... then later, and it was awhile down the road Farrah showed me that it wasn't just the one time, that there were murders all over the place and he'd just-" she exhaled. Harsh.

Samir
If she changed her mind and decided she didn't want to talk about it he would have granted her that much space. It's none of his business but they could all sense the undercurrent of something pulling at her all night. Nothing he couldn't glean from reading it on Ginger but that defeats the purpose of being friends with someone.

They're reaching the point where they have to call each other friends. He has scried a ritualistic dungeon for her. Granted it was for her and Ihsan but Ihsan still thought to call him after they found River's friend dead in a hotel room. That carries with it a weight of responsibility.

He keeps his arm around her shoulders even when she isn't looking at him. His eyes on her profile while hers are on the ceiling.

"Grace made it sound like it was the Nephandus making him do all that."

No surprise over the fact that this was not an incident isolated to Denver. Isn't following the thread she's laid out. The mentor-student relationship is important enough for them to swear an oath binding themselves as such. From the sound of Sam's tone though he's expecting this story to take a darker turn.

River
They are friends, or are as close to friends as River has been with the people she's met in Denver. Sam scried a dungeon for her, he checked on her when she was in a state where she shouldn't have been interfacing with the general population. He's been nothing if not present and supportive and hasn't asked for anything in return, hasn't given her the impression that all of his attentions are one big play for a favor later down the road.

But she's here, ready to dump some horrid secret on him and she wonders...

River purses her lips, takes the time to think about how to proceed. "We didn't know about that. He didn't tell us about the artist, I think if we'd known things would have been different but they could have turned out vastly different here." There's a second where she has the opportunity to ruminate on the fact that Farrah is gone, that she died a gruesome death here instead of a gruesome death in San Diego.

She chooses not to take the opportunity.

"So, Farrah had her evidence and we didn't know what to do- it felt like we have a responsibility to do something. Mike is somebody though, he's got a reputation and it's a really freaking good one. It-" she falters for a second "-I don't know if Farrah felt like this, but I felt like... if we said something to someone else, that they wouldn't believe us. That everything would get written off and swept away and-"

She stops, takes a second to flick the ashes off her half-forgotten cigarette.

"... I'm getting off topic."

She exhales.

"Anyway, we confronted him about the whole thing and... it's like it wasn't him, just like I remember and just like Farrah saw and so... we killed him. Farrah shot him and we buried him in the desert."

Except, of course, he isn't dead. He's very much not dead.

Samir
I'm getting off topic.

"That's alright," he says.

At some point in her explanation as to why the two girls left California Sam started combing his fingers through her hair. As much as he could with his arm beneath her anyway. He is taller than her but he does not have much in the way of manual dexterity.

His cigarette is just about dead. He stamps it out in the ashtray balanced on his stomach and sweeps his own hair back off his brow as she exhales.

And then she comes out with it.

"... oh." A stilling of his finger-combing as he absorbs this. It picks back up when the infophage is complete. "Shit, dude. Does he know you're here?"

River
"Yeah, he and I and Ihsan dealt with the Nephandus that was causing all the problems," she said, "when Farrah died I called him because... I mean, it was just reflex, I didn't know what to do."

She looks at her cigarette, doesn't quite feel like finishing but might in a moment. It gets left in the ashtray, not yet ready to be relegated to the place where all cigarettes go when they are snuffed out before reaching the fruition of their purpose in life.

"What Farrah and I did was a violation of that oath I was telling you about.. and it's- it's just going to be-" awkward doesn't begin to describe it "-I don't know how to say it. It's big, and I'm not going to die or anything-" right now, (don't transgress again)- "I just... I can't go back home now."

Samir
Once her cigarette joins his spent filter in the ashtray Sam picks it up and sets it atop the beside table. An anemic lamp is the only other object on it. A moment's consideration and he transfers the lighter from where it had landed to accompany the ashtray. It isn't an attempt to stall for time. That is a heavy revelation she just laid down but she laid it down on him and not between them. It's a distinction he's aware of.

"That really sucks." A beat. "Do you want to go back?"

River
[Per+empathy- hey, you're not freaked out about that, are you?]

Dice: 5 d10 TN6 (3, 5, 7, 9, 10) ( success x 3 )

River
Does she want to go back?

She has to think again, but she doesn't spend long on it, "sometimes. I think... it's not so much that I want to go back, it's that I don't want things to be different and they're so incredibly different now."

She lets her hand now sans cigarette, rest on his chest over his sternum. It's as good a place as any, and she feels... connected. She could have backed away, expects the bottom to fall out, expects him to get out of bed and tell her that he's done but Samir hasn't given any indication that he's going to leave, that what she said was too much.

River exhales again.

"And I'm having a hard time processing that and... I know I don't have to be okay, but getting up and telling everyone that I'm fine and everything's perfect here feels fake."

Samir
This is hard for him.

Close as they are to each other he has trouble hiding the fact that his heart is beating fast in his chest or he would be having trouble if River were as aware of his anxiety as he is. Her hand over his sternum and she can feel the thudding of the muscle beneath the bone and it doesn't mean he's about to extricate himself from bed and find his way out the door.

He's concerned about her. He wants to be of some help to her. He wants to take a shower and scrub himself back into some semblance of cleanliness but listening to her is more important than appeasing his madness.

Another exhale. This time Sam puts his hand overtop the back of hers and squeezes it.

"Well... if you're not okay and you're telling people you are, that's..." Now is not the time to get pedantic. It's his turn to exhale. "I mean, you're holding your shit together pretty well. You don't have to all the time. If my best friend died and my mentor voted me off the island, I'd be useless."

Oh wait. That's pretty much the same reason why he left California. Oops.

River
She has no idea why he left California, no idea that they both have this little bit of disaster in common but-

"Why did you decide to move to Denver?"

-it does dawn on her to ask. An odd sort of coincidence that might not have been a coincidence. A strangeness that doesn't strike her as strange at first. She doesn't know it's supposed to, only that Samir and Ihsan are both from LA (a lot of people are from LA) and that now he lives here. She doesn't even know where he lives, just presumes that it's around and doesn't question it.

Perhaps she knows he's anxious, thinks he'll tell her if things aren't okay, if she needs to get up or he needs to leave or any number of things. Otherwise, she seems to stay the course, even as she listens to his heart pound at a tempo that their current state of being doesn't quite mesh with.

Samir
"Because I threw a dart at a wall map, and that's where it landed."

That doesn't answer the question. He made the decision to leave where he was at and come here. That's the heart of the discussion they're having now.

"No--" Like what he just said was supposed to be a joke. "--I mean, yeah, that's why Denver, specifically, but... my cabal sort of imploded. I botched a program I really shouldn't have botched and wound up in Quiet and a lot of things happened while reality and I were having our little trial separation and... I decided it'd be better if I went off on my own for a bit."

River
He decided that it would be better if he went off on his own for a bit. She's listening, stays where she is and takes a moment to look up at him, to take Samir in from a different angle while he's talking to her and relaying his own story.

"That sounds awful," with sincerity, because it did. It sounded awful, having your cabal implode then he said he decided it would be better if he went off on his own for a little while. A bit. He says, doesn't give a real time frame. Says he was in quiet and she winces.

"And lonely, going off alone, anyway... are you staying or going back ever?"

Samir
"I'm not sure."

He's downplaying the awfulness of the situation. Shorthand accomplishes its intended goal and River manages to unpack the rest of the story without having to ask any further questions. Quiet is the inevitable end for Death Mages who commit themselves too well to the dispensation of justice. River knows this in a way that transcends firsthand knowledge.

"I'm not from L.A." At least once the night he came over to help the girls scry Ju-Ju House in New York City he had quipped I'M FROM CANADA in Ihsan's direction. This is information River already has. "There's nothing there that I really need to go back for. If you have family out there, you should... don't rule it out, I guess."

River
Quiet is something River dreads, expects to happen to her someday but not for a long, long time unless she is very, very careful. Certain things have left their mark and a well mind being able to process an unwell experience is its own quiet horror. She wonders what it was like for other people, knows the only thing that kept Adam from acting more on his impulses were his sense of self control and a strict adherence to the laws he upheld. Still, there were exceptions made.

It was part of the problem, when she thinks about it, the disconnect she'd so willingly embraced earlier in the month because of how liberating it was to not be tied down with something so integral to the human condition. She understood aspects of herself, who she'd been, a little better after that.

She doesn't dwell terribly long, takes a moment for introspection and pops back to wherever it was her thoughts had left off.

"Most of my family is either in Cuba or Chula Vista. Nobody wants to go to Chula Vista, so I might be able to avoid awkward social confrontations," she shrugged. Shoulders up, then down.

Samir
"You might."

Sounds like the lead-up to a punchline. One of the many services Samir offers is a dry if self-depreciating sense of humor and the occasional out-blurting of something he ought to have kept to himself. Sex peels away some of the nervousness come from being around her. He likes her. She knows this. He said as much the day they fucked on the banks of the creek.

"If people find out we're banging, you'll have loads of awkward social confrontations to look forward to."

River
"Hordes of angry ex-girlfriends?"

Samir
"Not just one horde. Multiple hordes. Like the finale level of a Left 4 Dead map."

River
She laughed, takes her hand off of his chest and, instead, tries to stifle the bark of laughter. The sound, you see, is delighted. Amused- she likes Sam. She thinks he's funny and she knows just enough about video games to be able to catch the visual.

"Oh my god, really?" She shakes her head, "I'm fucked, Sam."

Samir
Her attempt to stopper her own laugh knocks an answering one out of him. What he just said was total bullshit. No one would care if their relationship became public knowledge. The few people who might form an opinion would offer high fives to the Euthanatos. He does not have any ex-girlfriends at all let alone enough to form one horde.

At least River finds him amusing. Means his attempts at jokery don't pass in vain.

He doesn't have enough game to pull off a segue into another round beneath the sheets. Or at least he doesn't think he does. Whatever the mind convinces itself of tends to become reality and their kind are more proof of the thing than they are the exception.

"You're so fucked." As much as he wants a shower he wants to say something nice to this girl more. He demarcates the two conversations by turning towards her and kissing her soft and slow on the mouth. "I'm glad I met you."

Even if they both had to go through some shit to wind up here. Even if she isn't okay.